The question is will she know where she's going. ;)

Posted by: Shawn at November 16, 2004 04:08 PM

She might make a pretty good driver---but anyone but the most blinded partsan hack will have to admit she's a total faulire as a NSA.

She ignored and belittled the threat of terrorism until 9/11/01. Since then her catastophic failures have left us with airports and harbors more vunerable than ever before and diverted resources away from terrorism and into a for-profit oil war.

My question: How the hell can you defend her unbroken string of failures?

Posted by: Don Myers at November 18, 2004 12:00 PM

Daddy, why did we have to attack Iraq?
Author Unknown

Historical and tactical facts presented are accurate. Satire is opinion.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------






CHILD: Daddy, why did we have to attack Iraq?
DADDY: Because they had weapons of mass destruction, honey.

CHILD: But the inspectors didn't find any weapons of mass destruction.

DADDY: That's because the Iraqis were hiding them.

CHILD: And that's why we invaded Iraq?

DADDY: Yep. Invasions always work better than inspections.

CHILD: But after we invaded them, we STILL didn't find any weapons of mass destruction, did we?

DADDY: That's because the weapons are so well hidden. Don't worry, we'll find something; probably right before the 2004 election.

CHILD: Why did Iraq want all those weapons of mass destruction?

DADDY: To use them in a war, silly.

CHILD: I'm confused. If they had all those weapons that they planned to
use in a war, then why didn't they use any of those weapons when we
went to war with them?

DADDY: Well, obviously they didn't want anyone to know they had those
weapons, so they chose to die by the thousands rather than defend
themselves.

CHILD: That doesn't make sense Daddy. Why would they choose to die if they had all those big weapons to fight us back with?

DADDY: It's a different culture. It's not supposed to make sense.

CHILD: I don't know about you, but I don't think they had any of those
weapons our government said they did.

DADDY: Well, you know, it doesn't matter whether or not they had those
weapons. We had another good reason to invade them anyway.

CHILD: And what was that?

DADDY: Even if Iraq didn't have weapons of mass destruction, Saddam Hussein was a cruel dictator, which is another good reason to invade
another country.

CHILD: Why? What does a cruel dictator do that makes it OK to invade his country?

DADDY: Well, for one thing, he tortured his own people.

CHILD: Kind of like what they do in China and Israel or we did in Abu Graib?
DADDY: Don't go comparing China and Israel to Iraq. And Abu Graib is different. China is a good economic competitor, where millions of people work for slave wages in sweatshops to make U.S. corporations richer. Israel is our special ally and it has a right to defend itself.

CHILD: So if a country lets its people be exploited for American corporate
gain, it's a good country, even if that country tortures people? And if a country claims some special relationship with America, and it can call torture defense, than it can also torture people?

DADDY: Right.

CHILD: Why were people in Iraq being tortured?

DADDY: For political crimes, mostly, like criticizing the government or fighting oppression. People who criticized the government in Iraq were sent to prison and tortured.

CHILD: Isn't that exactly what happens in China?

DADDY: I told you, China and Israel are different.

CHILD: So why are people tortured in Israel? How is that different

DADDY: Because they are Palestinians and want to kill Israelis. Israel has a right to defend itself.

CHILD: But why do they want to kill Israelis?

DADDY: Because they are Jewish and Jewish people are the most victimized people in history.

CHILD: Who says that?

DADDY: They do.

CHILD: Isn't Israel occupying their land, stealing their water, food, lifestyle and ability to live? Killing their kids daily and humiliating them? Are you sure the Palestinians are fighting simply because they hate Jewish people?

DADDY: Sometimes people just hate for hate's sake.

CHILD: For 58 years? Daddy, that doesn't make sense.

DADDY: Israel is the only democracy in the Middle East. We must protect if.

CHILD: How can Israel be a democracy when 93% of it is "Jewish Only" and it doesn't even have a Constitution? Isn't a democracy where all men and women are created equal and religion is not used to discriminate? How is that a democracy?

DADDY: Well we used to segregate whites and blacks in this country and we were still a democracy.

CHILD: But if it wasn't okay for us to enslave, segregate and torture people, why do we support Israel doing the same thing?

DADDY: Because the Bible says Israel belongs to the Jews and they are his chosen people.

CHILD: But Daddy, didn't Jesus change all that?

DADDY: Why are you asking so many questions about Israel anyway. It has nothing to do with Iraq.

CHILD: Yes it does Daddy. Ariel Sharon said Vice President Cheney told him we'd the US would invade Iraq for Israel and take care of the problem and you're trying to tell me it's about something else. There is that Wolf man with the greased hair and his plan which shows us invading Iraq to secure Israel. And General Zinni, and General Franks and that Clarke guy, the Tenet man, even that Senator Hollings said Israel is why we invaded...

DADDY: Hollingsworth. But you are missing the point. We invaded Iraq because Saddam was an evil man and he tortured people and might build weapons of mass destruction one day. Leave Israel out of this.

CHILD: Ariel Sharon does all those things except he already has 600 of of those weapons and his country keeps getting caught spying on the US. And Israel's sold our nuclear secrets to China, which you said is bad. Why would our special friend do ...

DADDY: I said leave Israel out of it!

CHILD: Okay Daddy, but I still don't see the difference. Tell me again. why China and Iraq are different?

DADDY: Well, for one thing, Iraq was ruled by the Ba'ath party, while China is Communist.

CHILD: Didn't you once tell me Communists were bad?

DADDY: No, just Cuban Communists are bad.

CHILD: How are the Cuban Communists bad?

DADDY: Well, for one thing, people who criticize the government in Cuba
are sent to prison and tortured.

CHILD: Like in Iraq?
DADDY: Exactly.

CHILD: And like in China, too?

DADDY: I told you, China's a good economic competitor. Cuba, on the other
hand, is not.

CHILD: How come Cuba isn't a good economic competitor?

DADDY: Well, you see, back in the early 1960s, our government passed some Laws that made it illegal for Americans to trade or do any business
with Cuba until they stopped being Communists and started being
capitalists like us.

CHILD: But if we got rid of those laws, opened up trade with Cuba, and
started doing business with them, wouldn't that help the Cubans become
capitalists?

DADDY: Don't be a smart-ass.

CHILD: I didn't think I was being one.
DADDY: Well, anyway, they also don't have freedom of religion in Cuba.

CHILD: Kind of like China and the Falun Gong movement or Israel with the Massada and Settler movements where they spit on and beat up and kill Christians like us simply because we are Christian?

DADDY: They beat up, spit on and kill Arabs...terrorists

CHILD: Who are Christian or Muslim because they are Christian and Muslim. What is the difference?

DADDY: I told you, stop saying bad things about China and Israel. Anyway, Saddam Hussein came to power through a military coup, so he's not really a Legitimate leader anyway.

CHILD: What's a military coup?

DADDY: That's when a military general takes over the government of a
country by force, instead of holding free elections like we do in the
United States.

CHILD: Didn't the ruler of Pakistan come to power by a military coup?

DADDY: You mean General Pervez Musharraf? Uh, yeah, he did, but Pakistan is our friend.

CHILD: Why is Pakistan our friend if their leader is illegitimate?

DADDY: I never said Pervez Musharraf was illegitimate.

CHILD: Didn't you just say a military general who comes to power by
Forcibly overthrowing the legitimate government of a Nation is an
Illegitimate leader?

DADDY: Only Saddam Hussein. Pervez Musharraf is our friend, because he helped us invade Afghanistan.
CHILD: Why did we invade Afghanistan?

DADDY: Because of what they did to us on September 11th.

CHILD: What did Afghanistan do to us on September 11th?

DADDY: Well, on September 11th, nineteen men, Fifteen of them Saudi
Arabians, hijacked four airplanes and flew three of them into
buildings, killing nearly 3,000 Americans.

CHILD: So how did Afghanistan figure into all that?

DADDY: Afghanistan was where those bad men trained, under the oppressive rule of the Taliban.

CHILD: Who trained them?

DADDY: A very bad man named Osama bin Laden.

CHILD: Was he from Afghanistan?

DADDY: Uh, no, he was from Saudi Arabia too.

CHILD: But I thought you said 15 of the 19 hijackers on September 11th
were from Saudi Arabia. And didn't say back in March that the LA Times finally admitted we still don't know who did 9/11? I mean, all we know is eight used fake IDs.

DADDY: We know it was Bin Ladin

CHILD: How do we know?

DADDY: Because the government said so.

CHILD: The same government that said Iraq had weapons of mass destruction? The same government that said the Patriot Act was temporary and the same government that...

DADDY: There was a tape.

CHILD: Didn't Germany and several other countries discredit that tape.?

DADDY: Yes, but Al Qaida attacked us.

CHILD: Because the government says so?

DADDY: Yes. And there is another tape where Osama says so.

CHILD: He sure likes tapes. Why would he hurt us?

DADDY: He's a bad man.

CHILD: I seem to recall he was our friend once.

DADDY: Only when we helped him and the Mujahadeen repel the Soviet
invasion of Afghanistan back in the 1980s.

CHILD: Who are the Soviets? Was that the Evil Communist Empire Ronald Reagan talked about?

DADDY: There are no more Soviets. The Soviet Union broke up in 1990 or
thereabouts, and now they have elections and capitalism like us. We
call them Russians now.

CHILD: So the Soviets - I mean, the Russians - are now our friends?

DADDY: Well, not really. You see, they were our friends for many years
after they stopped being Soviets, but then they decided not to support
our invasion of Iraq, so we're mad at them now. We're also mad at the
French and the Germans because they didn't help us invade Iraq either.

CHILD: Daddy, if the Germans caught the US Government lying about the first Bin Ladin tape, the European Union saw that footage about the 4,000 Taliban soldiers we suffocated and massacred in container trucks and the French suspected our reasons for invading Iraq were not kosher, doesn't it kind of make sense they'd hang back for better proof and maybe doubt our intentions? Wouldn't we?

DADDY: Of course not. They're our allies. They are either with us or against us.

CHILD: Even when we might be wrong?

DADDY: President Bush is never wrong. He says so himself. They should stand by us no matter what just like we stand by our favorite ally no matter what.

CHILD: So because they wanted real proof and went against us the French and Germans are evil, too?

DADDY: Not exactly evil, but just bad enough that we had to rename French Fries and French toast to Freedom Fries and Freedom Toast.

CHILD: Do we always rename foods whenever another country doesn't do what we want them to do?
DADDY: No, we just do that to our friends. Our enemies, we invade.

CHILD: But wasn't Iraq one of our friends back in the 1980s?

DADDY: Well, yeah. For a while.

CHILD: Was Saddam Hussein ruler of Iraq back then?

DADDY: Yes, but at the time he was fighting against Iran, which made him our friend, temporarily.

CHILD: Why did that make him our friend?

DADDY: Because at that time, Iran was our enemy.

CHILD: Isn't that when he gassed the Kurds?

DADDY: Yes, except they don't know where poison gas came from. Now that he's our enemy it must have come from him. But since he was fighting against Iran at the time, we looked the other way, to show him we were his friend.

CHILD: Kind of like we do with the Israelis gassing the Palestinians today? We ignore it because Israel is our friend?

DADDY: Exactly.

CHILD: So anyone who fights against one of our enemies automatically
becomes our friend?

DADDY: Most of the time, yes.

CHILD: And anyone who fights against one of our friends is automatically
an enemy?

DADDY: Sometimes that's true, too. However, if American corporations can profit by selling weapons to both sides at the same time, all the better.

CHILD: Why?
DADDY: Because war is good for the economy, which means war is good for America. Also, since God is on America's side, anyone who opposes war is a Godless un-American Communist. Do you understand now why we attacked Iraq?

CHILD: I think so. We attacked them because God wanted us to, right? But Daddy, doesn't Galatians kind of address all that differently? And what about the Sermon on the Mount? What about the Ten Commandments? My Sunday School teacher...

DADDY: Forget about Galatians, Moses and the Gospels.

CHILD: But how did President Bush know God wanted us to attack Iraq?

DADDY: Well, you see, God personally speaks to George W. Bush and tells him what to do.

CHILD: Like Jesus, The Apostle Paul or Joan of Arc?

DADDY: Not exactly.

CHILD: So basically, what you're saying is that we attacked Iraq because George W. Bush hears voices in his head?

DADDY: . You finally understand how the world works. Now close your eyes, make yourself comfortable, and go to sleep. Good night.

CHILD: Good night, Daddy

Posted by: young-white-and-liberal at November 18, 2004 05:58 PM

and... your point is?

Posted by: nathan in tokyo at November 20, 2004 06:22 AM

no point. was sent a link by a friend of mine and thought id post it as i found it chucklesome.

Posted by: young-white-and-liberal at November 20, 2004 06:59 PM

2369 adipex

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