"hand job with my mouth"

you gotta be kidding me

Did you catch the number of times she went to the hospital and had a bunch of tests done for her bogus conditions? I'll bet the medical bills add up to hundreds of thousands.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. “Basically, the consensus was to stick around because you like this girl, but don’t get too attached, because she’s going to be dead in three months,”

Eric: we are paying her bills. You, me and the rest of suckers who pay for insurance.

Ken: you're laughing - but I've known a man who employed exactly same reasoning. After his wife of 30 years died (not of natural causes) he immediately announced that he (surprise!) have had a lady friend Clara, introduced her to his son's and daughter's families, but then in 2 months she's got a cancer diagnosis. "Oh well", he said, "it was good while it lasted. She doesn't expect me to stick with her, does she? I'm still suffering from the dear wife's death. Not with my heart's condition to go through it again".

Have any of these nitwits ever watched Paper Moon?

Left out of the story... all of these dudes were D&D-playing virgins.

Not to diminish this person's no doubt profound pain, but this comment is hilarious:

I knew this bitch. Her audacity and lack of regard for others is positively stunning and cunning. She tapped into my general sympathy for humankind (and love of the band, "The Eels"), with her cancer sob story.

Sorry if this double posts.

Ken,

Come now, you're telling me that you've never, ever done something a little bit stupid for some strange? Sure, most of us grow out of that stage in our late teens, early 20s but I'm thinking most of these idiots just sound like they hadn't observed enough human behavior to make them jaundiced.

As to this chick--yeah, paraisites like her are why I sometimes think "civilization" is overrated. Couple hundred years ago I'm pretty sure someone would've taken care of her quicker than you can say "accused witch, pyre, torch...some assembly required." Now we've got laws against that sort of sh*t.

Tatyana, you aren't kidding. I'm trying to figure out how she did it - last time I went to the hospital they waited for the MRI on my wallet to come back before they would even take down my name.

James, that's silly. From what I can tell unless you were a hospital or a bank she didn't do any permanent damage.

Ken, I would say today is the state of barbarism, when parasites are often protected more than the victims. A civilized society is one in which people can take the necessary action to remove wrongdoers from among us, and the righteous won't so much as blink.

James: no permanent damage? She's defrauded people (which required their own stupidity for the scheme to work, but that's no excuse for what she did), and she's put the taxpayers on the hook for her hospital bills and law enforcement costs. She'd be better off if someone hunted her down and put a bullet through her head.

What an incredible story. And she's even using her real name? Geez, this is the age where you could Google someone's name virtually as soon as you meet. That magazine appears to have vetted their new hire as thoroughly as Obama's administration vets Cabinet nominees.

One of the comments referred to "silly boys with their Asian fever." Whatever it was, she's hardly attractive. FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT'S HOLY, WHAT A DISGUSTING TATTOO ON HER CHEST! Yuck! Merely being Asian, she stuck out like a sore thumb in Salt Lake City, and the tattoo would make her even more noticeable. "Any distinguishing marks or characteristics?" It's just another testament to SLC police's incompetence that they couldn't find her.

Having grown up mostly in Utah, I'm not surprised she plied a lot of her trade there. It's an entire state with low crime and a population mostly geared toward family.

Several years ago, I met a somewhat similar drama queen through mutual friends, but even then nothing like this. This piece of work was always borrowing money, not a lot each time, but it adds up. She was very careful so each person didn't know she was simultaneously borrowing from the others. In hindsight, well, at least she never did anything like convincing someone to buy a used car at an absurd interest rate! As a freelance computer programmer on a new contract, she explained, she wouldn't get a check until the work was completed.

Eventually her credibility wore thin. When someone owes you money, it sticks in your craw when she's suddenly sporting an expensive new bag. Then her sob story fell apart. Like with the Korean bitch, toward the end her stories had to become extreme. One night she claimed an old acquaintance and his buddies were high when they saw her on the street earlier that day, "kidnapped" her, then brought her to some party. Uh huh. Oh, and her ex-boyfriend had to track her down and rescue her.

There was also the sexuality aspect. She wasn't sleeping around and wasn't aggressive, but she did give "pictures" to a few of the guys. She told each one that she took them only for him, making him promise not to tell anyone. Didn't she ever think that guys gossip as much as girls? It's true! It didn't require the advent of "sexting" for such pictures to spread like wildfire. Once enough beer flowed, the youngest buck bragged to the rest of us about what someone gave him. It's almost comical how everyone present had the same simultaneous look of shock ("The bitch was playing the field!") turning into relief ("Well, thank goodness I didn't bang her!"). I was actually a little insulted at first, because she never showed me any! Maybe she saw me as too innocent. It didn't matter. Once I saw what she'd passed around, I thought, meh, no thanks.

Moral of the story: go for the whopper stories, like claiming to have cancer and using Hollywood blood packets!

Eventually this one stopped hanging out completely. I received a few e-mails over time, all very apologetic. She said she was so sorry for deceiving us, blah blah, and she realizes that the karma is coming back to her, because her life really fell apart. She lost her apartment and had to move in with a friend (I don't know who, otherwise I'd have warned that person, but the person was probably a new friend). I guess she had a good job at some point, which is how she once could afford a great place. She did know her stuff, so it was a waste. Some people would rather choose a few years in their 20s of easy money and constant partying, instead of honest work that's more profitable even in the short term.

Err, I meant to address my second paragraph to Eric, not James.

She'd be better off if someone hunted her down and put a bullet through her head.

Oh please. A bullet for less than $100k worth of damage? Would you advocate a good flogging for jaywalking?

Every man is some woman's fool.

Every man is some woman's fool.

Hey, yeah, that's true. Maybe we can get the IC to weigh in here :)

"Would you advocate a good flogging for jaywalking?"

What you cannot grasp is that it's not just the act itself, but the harm done to others. If someone jaywalks when traffic is at a standstill, or there's no traffic at all, no one is harmed.

Now if someone jaywalks and causes an accident, flogging sounds like a good start.

Reminds me of that film where all the guys in a unit of the Foreign Legion are pining over photos of the same girl.
Also reminds me that the fake friends you lend a twenty to and then never seem to be able to have time to talk to you again are actually a good deal. You pay 20 and rid yourself of them.

Maybe inevitable, but still funnee: Hipster Grifter Hand-job-with-mouth is now a T-Shirt:

http://s303.photobucket.com/albums/nn156/michaelbmoss/?action=view¤t=Karishirt.png

bryan, you must have seen Robert DeNiro's "A Bronx Tale"? Some guy owed C $20 and so kept avoiding him, and C's gangster mentor explained, hey, he'll never talk to you again and it cost you only $20!

Perry! Yes! Thanks for reminding me where I got that pearl of wisdom from. That film is a bit of an underrated classic IMO. The advice about the girl who reaches over to unlock your side of the car was good too (but a bit redundant now that we mostly have central locking).
The foreign legion thing was a Laurel and Hardy. They all had the same photo, including the brass.